Dont Know wat to do.i feel like dying?

i was in love with a girl since december.we r neighbours and studied together until 2002.she went abroad for studying.i met her online and started chatting.she was like telling everything of hers to me.EVERYTHING.she hAd two BFs before,and has a huge crush over one guy who accidentally is my friend too.she is now abroad.i said i love her and she said she cant love anyone.but i AM speciaL for her.she loved me at first.then she said it was out of frustration.she said she will hate me one daY like she did with previous BFs and she dont want to add me as the 3rd one in her sucked life.she hates her profession and pArents.very independent girl.i love her to my death.last week,we had a BIGG quarrel.i was outta control and said so many unwanted things.she said she never loved me,i was only special.she dont feel Anything if we broke up.Next one like that.i love her .i dont knw wAt to do.she knws i love her that much.i am ready to marry her and mAke her happy.i cAlled her said sorry.but no use